m a r k a n d e y a

Archive for November 13th, 2004

It all comes crashing down…

Posted by Brian on November 13, 2004

My life sucks right now. Really… I mean that.

I feel like I’m getting battered about in the middle of a perfect storm system here. My grandmother is very sick and most likely near the end of her life; my business is dying, which in turn is creating tension between my girlfriend and I; and when/if I ever overcome those problems I still have 4 more years of suffering under George W. Bush to deal with.

I try to stay strong, I try to stay optimistic, but more often than not I feel so damn overwhelmed by it all. Where’s the point of light that I should be keeping my eye on? I’m gonna be in debt for years, and on top of my own problems, I feel the guilt of dragging my girlfriend (and her now-gone life savings) into this mess. It’s hard enough keeping my own head up, but my girlfriend is pretty upset these days so I need to do what I can to help her.

I need some more soju…

People try to cheer me up by telling me I learned a lot, or that I should get credit for taking a risk. But damnit… this was an expensive lesson to learn, and I can’t help but feel like all the money I poored into this mess could have been spent better elsewhere. It’s all well and good that I should be proud of reaching for my dream the way I did… but pride doesn’t pay the bills.

I usually play some Bob Marley to help cheer me up… but even his songs don’t seem up to the task at the moment. What I need is some collosal good news to break me out of this funk.



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