m a r k a n d e y a

KJI doesn’t know how he keeps Winning Lottery

Posted by Brian on June 8, 2006

From The Onion:

PYONGYANG—After winning his ninth $10 million lottery jackpot in as many weeks, North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il continues to be "stunned" by his good luck. "Certainly the fates smile with a benevolent countenance upon myself, the most Exalted Supreme Leader-For-Life of the great nation of Korea!" said Kim, who acts as Chairman of the National Democratic Council, Commander of the National Defense Commission, Supreme Director of the North Korean Powerball and MegaMillions Lotteries, and General Secretary of the Worker's Party of Korea. "Truly, heaven has blessed me once again with great wealth, as well as the love of my people!" The dictator said the winnings come at a particularly fortuitous time, as he is currently broke after spending all of his previous eight jackpots on plutonium.

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