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Archive for July 4th, 2007

I miss watching Keith Olbermann

Posted by Brian on July 4, 2007

Salon has the full script here, but here’s a tidbit: 

I accuse you, Mr. Bush, of lying this country into war. I accuse you of fabricating in the minds of your own people a false implied link between Saddam Hussein and 9/11. I accuse you of firing the generals who told you that the plans for Iraq were disastrously insufficient. I accuse you of causing in Iraq the needless deaths of 3,586 of our brothers and sons, and sisters and daughters, and friends and neighbors. I accuse you of subverting the Constitution, not in some misguided but sincerely motivated struggle to combat terrorists, but to stifle dissent. I accuse you of fomenting fear among your own people, of creating the very terror you claim to have fought. I accuse you of exploiting that unreasoning fear, the natural fear of your own people who just want to live their lives in peace, as a political tool to slander your critics and libel your opponents. I accuse you of handing part of this republic over to a vice president who is without conscience and letting him run roughshod over it.

And I accuse you now, Mr. Bush, of giving, through that vice president, carte blanche to Mr. Libby to help defame Ambassador Joseph Wilson by any means necessary, to lie to grand juries and special counsel and before a court, in order to protect the mechanisms and particulars of that defamation with your guarantee that Libby would never see prison and, in so doing, as Ambassador Wilson himself phrased it here last night, of becoming an accessory to the obstruction of justice.

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The Onion goes crazy on July 4th

Posted by Brian on July 4, 2007

First this one:

NEW YORK (Sept. 3)—The already jubilant mood of the Republican National Convention was given a further boost Thursday night when, during his closing address at Madison Square Garden, President Bush uttered the phrase “the lessons of Sept. 11” for the one-millionth time. “The American people have risen to the challenges of the past three years, working tirelessly to ensure that the world will never forget…the lessons of Sept. 11,” Bush said and outstretched his arms as balloons and confetti rained down on the delegates, whose deafening cheers lasted nearly five minutes. To make the event possible, Bush crammed hundreds of references to the “lessons of Sept. 11” into campaign speeches during the days leading up to the speech, sometimes simply chanting the four words repeatedly for several minutes.

And this one (a classic from 1999):

WASHINGTON, DC—With Wall Street booming, the U.S. military standing tall, and Mark McGwire kicking ass and taking names, Congress passed the Helms-Bayh “America Is #1” bill by an overwhelming majority Monday.

“My esteemed colleagues, all of us have long known that America is number one,” said Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott, announcing the bill’s 92-7 passage. “But now it is official. USA! USA! USA!”

And then there is this one (no link, though this was found here):

“I don’t watch the nightly newscasts on TV, nor do I watch the endless hours of people giving their opinion about things,” the president said. “I don’t read the editorial pages; I don’t read the columnists.”

Yet Mr. Bush regularly monitors the news pages of a select few daily publications.

“I get the newspapers — the New York Times, The Washington Times, The Washington Post and USA Today — those are the four papers delivered,” he said. “I can scan a front page, and if there is a particular story of interest, I’ll skim it.”

Which, to be honest, isn’t actually from The Onion; it’s a fact. I know… hard to believe…

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